Saturday night and cough drops.
Stringing beads on a thin wire, watching their colors blend together like a hurricane sunset.
Old friends and card games.
Midterms and makeup lessons.
Singlehood- Friend or foe? (Friend, I think.)
Not waiting for any sort of dramatic fall.
I wish it could stay this way forever. I could just stay in this bubble of twenty something, while still learning and growing, but not becoming jaded. Just safe.
I've been through the post-breakup steps. Forgiveness; of myself and of the other person. I've done all of the overanalyzing and over thinking... where did we go wrong? That stuff. It doesn't really matter anymore. I see it all so perfectly... clear as a raindrop. I am too young to know, we were too young to mature, we were just kids and still are. And how are we expected to be a certain type of love? Big love is reserved for those who can keep their minds. I don't think I've ever been in love. That's ok- I'm not afraid of that. Not as afraid as I am of not experiencing my life. I'll mess up a million times and fall in a dejected heap, but the bigger tragedy would be to never put myself out there. And I'm not just talking about relationships. I'd rather be that way than safe. But I can still wish for both.
But blogging is different. It's a little freer, a little less advertised. It's nice to rant without a judgmental audience.
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